


under cover of the street

by jessus



Category: Big Time Rush, Big Time Rush RPF
Genre: M/M, Pining, friendship is gr8, unrequited (?) love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-13 11:14:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/502929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessus/pseuds/jessus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I slept with two guys last month," he said, then paused for a second, his teeth grinding together as he waited for Kendall to say something. When nothing came, he went on. "They both reminded me of him."</p>
            </blockquote>





	under cover of the street

**Author's Note:**

> This is more Kenlos friendship than anything, and it's something I wrote for this RP I'm in and then decided against posting. In the RP, Carlos and Logan are together now, so this fic would be set about a year ago. It was originally meant as just some background on how Carlos has always felt about Logan, and then it turned into something more, and out came this vaguely Kenlos-y thing. I didn't hate it, so I'm posting it here because I don't want it to just sit around gathering dust forever.

It was an alright party, alright in that there was alcohol and music and friends but no good food, and that was the first complaint Carlos had as he laid himself down on the grass outside of the house, Kendall sitting down next to him with his legs crossed a second later.

“Dude,” Carlos said, his hand flopping down to rest on Kendall’s knee. “They didn’t even have  _chips_. What the—what is that? Who doesn’t have chips at a party?”

Kendall laughed and leaned all the way back, elbows digging into the dirt to hold himself up, his legs still crossed in front of him, and Carlos cringed at how uncomfortable that position looked. But Kendall apparently didn’t mind, because he just shrugged his shoulders and spoke very gravely, like his words were the most important thing anyone had ever said. “Losers, Carlos. That’s who.”

Snorting, Carlos picked his hand up off of Kendall’s knee and placed it on the ground, curling his hand into the grass just to feel how cool it was against his skin. It wasn’t too warm out, dark enough for everything to be colder even in the summer, and the grass felt nice under his palm. He tugged on it, but gave up when the handful didn’t rip up out of the ground right away. “You get to live another day,” he said to the grass, frowning down the length of his arm, hardly remembering anyone was there with him until he heard Kendall’s sharp burst of laughter once again.

“You’re drunk, man,” Kendall said, and Carlos nodded.

“A little bit,” he agreed quietly, squinting up at the sky. “Doesn’t help.”

Kendall looked over at him. “Doesn’t help with what?”

Carlos just shrugged, letting go of his handful of grass to pick just one piece out of the ground, and he raised it up to look at it against the backdrop of the sky, the light from the house a few dozen yards away helping him see. “Party would’ve been better with Logan.”

“It’s only been two days,” Kendall said, and Carlos could practically hear him rolling his eyes. They both went quiet for just a minute, and Carlos had the overwhelming urge to fill even such a short silence with whatever he could, with whatever popped into his head, words falling from his lips before he could tuck the need to say something like them away, as he always did.

“I slept with two guys last month,” he said, then paused for a second, his teeth grinding together as he waited for Kendall to say something. When nothing came, he went on. “They both reminded me of him.”

Kendall grunted as he pushed himself upright again, and Carlos finally let the blade of grass drop, looking at his friend instead. Kendall just stared right back, then shook his head, amusement flickering in what Carlos could see of his eyes. “That was a hell of a way to tell me you’re gay.”

Carlos laughed at that. “I slept with a girl too. She had really short brown hair. And dimples.” He leaned up a little and raised his hand to poke Kendall’s cheek, overshooting and landing somewhere near his ear. “But that was this month.”

“Wow,” Kendall said, impressed. “You’re clearly more of a stud than we’ve given you credit for. It’s just that you haven’t been able to talk about most of your conquests, right?”

“Right.”

“Well, Carlos, good buddy,” Kendall said. “I would just like to let you know that my ears are now open to all of the man-sex you ever wanna have.”

“I’m a man though, so wouldn’t all of the sex I have be man-sex, just based on that?”

“Don’t be drunk  _and_  difficult. I’m saying you can talk to me about anything you want.”

Carlos nodded, his lips quirking up again. “Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I know.”

Kendall rolled his eyes, stretching his legs out now and moving to lay down right next to him. “So, how long have you been in love with Logan?”

Carlos would have flinched, had freaked out before once when one of his brothers had made a joke about that very same thing, except Kendall was so matter-of-fact, so unconcerned about the implications while still being sympathetic, that he felt confident enough to say, “Two months.”

“That when you started messing around with people who looked like him?”

Shaking his head, Carlos corrected himself. “No, I meant two months after we met.”

“Jesus,” Kendall said, hissing in a breath through his teeth like he was in pain. Carlos appreciated the sentiment. “That long, huh?”

Carlos hummed his agreement, walking his fingers down Kendall’s arm, gratified to feel goosebumps forming as he did so. “I’m thinking about trying not to be in love with Logan anymore,” he said, and when Kendall turned his head to face him, his eyebrows drawn in close, Carlos leaned forward and kissed him, soft but not at all hesitant.

Kendall let it last long enough to be polite, but after a few seconds he pulled back, a hand on Carlos’ shoulder stopping him from following Kendall’s mouth with his own. “Come on, dude,” he said, sounding amused enough that Carlos had no worries that this might have just screwed up their friendship. “We both know I’m not the one.”

Carlos let out a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob, pressing his face into Kendall’s shoulder. “Wish you were.” And Carlos didn’t know why he said that, or why he suddenly felt it’d be easier if Kendall were the one he wanted, but he thought it might have something to do with knowing he’d never hurt for anyone quite like how he hurt for Logan.

“Yeah, buddy,” Kendall said, like he understood completely, pressing his cheek against the top of Carlos’ head. Carlos wondered who he was thinking about at that moment. “Me too.”


End file.
